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Here's The Skinny
I was recently contacted by a Coolsculpt representative who wanted Erin and I to have our fat frozen off in exchange for a review of the procedure. Technically, I did not consult Erin prior to agreeing to this, but she owed me. Erin took us to get Brazilian waxes on our last field trip together and then laughed hysterically when I insisted she drive me to the hospital to get a rape kit after. I decided 6:30am was the perfect time to call and inform her of what we were doing. ... Read more
A Hairy Situation
The Korean bathhouse was indeed traumatizing, but the psychotherapy and shock treatments I have been receiving are totally helping. Annnnd while I was homecoming queen in high school, it wasn’t as though I made a shadow box containing my tiara in memorandum of this momentous occasion. People probably assumed I was a stuck up little bitch when I ran off the football field in front of hundreds of people after I was crowned. In truth, this event served as foreshadowing to what would later be diagnosed as a “severe anxiety disorder.” ... Read more
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